GaP

​There seems to be a gap between who I am now... and who I want to be.

I find myself in so many ways lacking in discipline, vision, knowledge, wisdom, etc. and list can go on. I look around and there are people around me who are so disciplined and so committed, motivated, and driven. How are they that way?​
Did they start where I was?
Was it an innate ability that God gave them?
Did they have to earn this trait through many months of excruciating commitment?

​I wonder to myself sometimes how they got to be the way they are. I look at my Dad, as most of us 2nd gen immigrants can, and he is able to be focused and create quality for extended periods of time. I just wonder how?

I have tried time and time again to beat my body into submission, and fight continuously this upward battle to gain "discipline" yet it seems so fleeting. Then I look at others.... certain specific others (cos most ppl aren't like this), and it seems so effortless. I think there is something deeper.. something that is much deeper than just a person who innately works hard, and is disciplined. There is something there.  ​

I hope I find that.​